took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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