we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
