i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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