guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
