the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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