When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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