I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
