Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Shut the hell up.

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  (970): Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude (1-970): You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ? (970): Shut the hell up. http://tfl.nu/g01x
  Replies (38) Good night (829) Bad night (1916)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!

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  (817): I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network! http://tfl.nu/tfom
  Replies (3) Good night (3008) Bad night (538)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.

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  (512): boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above. http://tfl.nu/vdaw
  Replies (14) Good night (4589) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Does God suck his dick?

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  (270): He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God." (1-270): Does God suck his dick? http://tfl.nu/w42a
  Replies (105) Good night (1275) Bad night (5764)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.

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  (360): Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down. http://tfl.nu/bwrh
  Replies (17) Good night (6719) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.

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  (618): I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask. http://tfl.nu/gfxs
  Replies (12) Good night (953) Bad night (3008)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?

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  (575): So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation? http://tfl.nu/oofw
  Replies (17) Good night (5743) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha

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  (920): Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg (920): Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha http://tfl.nu/c94t
  Replies (29) Good night (2179) Bad night (944)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night

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  (952): I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/yysc
  Replies (3) Good night (2510) Bad night (958)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon

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  (701): Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon http://tfl.nu/mzrc
  Replies (4) Good night (2133) Bad night (707)
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  (585): View more from New York

  What's the over under on catching something from your sister?

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  (585): What's the over under on catching something from your sister? http://tfl.nu/0z2a
  Replies (21) Good night (687) Bad night (3018)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"

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  (613): She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!" http://tfl.nu/0i27
  Replies (6) Good night (2583) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked

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  (309): I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked http://tfl.nu/2y25
  Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (320)
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  (518): View more from New York

  That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing

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  (518): That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz (978): Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing http://tfl.nu/v9yz
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....

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  (505): I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from.... http://tfl.nu/owld
  Replies (2) Good night (660) Bad night (213)

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