The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
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they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.