last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day