hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
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He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.