can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
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No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me