Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.

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  (347): I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/tax7
  Replies (70) Good night (19600) Bad night (1385)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.

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  (517): just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder. http://tfl.nu/xinc
  Replies (27) Good night (1479) Bad night (4934)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week

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  (248): You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week http://tfl.nu/vksd
  Replies (5) Good night (4549) Bad night (863)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

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  (613): Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night. http://tfl.nu/w938
  Replies (14) Good night (1027) Bad night (3778)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

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  (651): That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish. http://tfl.nu/pnvl
  Replies (3) Good night (3905) Bad night (1047)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking

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  (970): I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking http://tfl.nu/lf0q
  Replies (8) Good night (2763) Bad night (1363)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.

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  (785): Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer. http://tfl.nu/7lxv
  Replies (15) Good night (5871) Bad night (1326)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.

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  (770): I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried. http://tfl.nu/6wir
  Replies (7) Good night (1182) Bad night (3192)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?

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  (727): Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots? http://tfl.nu/ihjx
  Replies (4) Good night (2040) Bad night (716)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  what type of emt are you

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  (860): i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off. (1-860): what type of emt are you http://tfl.nu/8o94
  Replies (4) Good night (1565) Bad night (780)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.

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  (310): I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/mh99
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (438)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me

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  (772): Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me http://tfl.nu/3ivl
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  SO DRUNK

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  PUKED IN DRIVEWAY

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  TELL PARENTS SORRY

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  (763): SO DRUNK (763): PUKED IN DRIVEWAY (763): TELL PARENTS SORRY http://tfl.nu/g7hk
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (254)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  I can't help you there

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  (317): Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. (1-317): I can't help you there http://tfl.nu/q1ip
  Replies (0) Good night (158) Bad night (351)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it

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  (301): If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it http://tfl.nu/2kea
  Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (123)

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