i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
