I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
