I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize