Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
