You made me cry and you don't even care
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
