There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy