Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
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She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now