i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck