I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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