Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize