If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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