5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
