Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
