i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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