the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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