you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
