this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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