Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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