Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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