I love black thongs
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
