first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
