Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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