first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
