Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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