She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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