He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
vagina is talking i cant
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
