What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
