kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
