Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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