How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
