She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can you bring me the toilet please
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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