I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
