She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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