Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Operation Purity has been aborted
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
