Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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