So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
