Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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