...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
