somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
