put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize