Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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