I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize