my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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