Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
