Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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