At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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