okay pat passed out under dana's car
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
