Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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