do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
