FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
