i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
