i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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