Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
